Why Men Are Happier

Your last name stays put,
The garage is all yours,
Wedding plans take care of themselves,
Chocolate is just another snack,
You can be president,
or the prime minister,
You can never be pregnant,
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park,
You can wear no t-shirt to a water park

Car mechanics tell you the truth,
The world is your urinal,
You never have to drive to the petrol station toilet because this one is just to icky,
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt,
Same work, more pay,
Wrinkles on your face add character,
People never stare at your chest yuo're talking to them

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected,
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet,
One mood - all the time,
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat,
You know stuff about tanks

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase,
You can open all your own jars,
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness,
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend

Your underwear is RM 30 for three-pack,
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough,
You almost never have strap problems in public,
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes,
Everything on your face stays its original colour,
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades,
You only have to shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all your life,
Your belly usually hides your big hips,
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all season,
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look,
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife,
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache